First Thing First

As of this writing, I have not yet decided whether I will take the bar this 2015 or not.

Emotions are rock 'n rollin. All them. I even don't know where others are coming from.

Maybe some are triggered by the death of my father. Some are from the condition inside the house, the inundating negativity that surrounds me. Others are the realization that I have to go back to school empty-handed. There is so much more which I refuse to write because I don't feel like nurturing monsters in my life. Or maybe, these are just the important ones that I need to address.

To start the day right, I opened "The Secret." I prayed. I read the Bible, 'Our Daily Bread' and 'Making the Most of Today." Now, I am writing... I just feel I need to do all of these...

The most striking message so far is: "Teach us to number our days so that we will spend them wisely." This is a reminder that life is so short.

The 2015 bar is also fast approaching.

First thing first. I have to start preparing for my class later.

Heaven is For Real

What He is trying to say is that I must have a rock-hard faith in Him.

He reminded me of my experiences of the so-called "glimpse of heaven." These are important in combating depression attacks. 

Another important message is meditation. I have to learn doing this.Practice this.

Last is becoming a vegetarian. Oh! I do not know if can be that. For now, I'll start with drinking water. Cleansing, that is. Then, fruits and vegetables. Well, this could be easier if I have money. 

His Messages

On October 26 Mass, God told me what to do with some of the pains I have in my heart, pains that have been transforming me to a person I never thought I would be...

Forgive unconditionally. That is. I can't say that I have executed this fully for every day is a battle for me. Every morning, I find myself reciting the things I should say but at the end of the day, those words are left unuttered. Well, the burden is lighter now, I must say. Awareness of what is ought to be done is something.

The following week, He spoke to me again when I attended the mass. He said find a MODEL. I must be careful with this one because the one I chose will lead me to OCTOBAR success. This is another thing that is left unaccomplished.

Connect the Dots

My thoughts right now are nightmarish...

Dark. Disturbing. Lingering.

I am officially on vacation right now but here I am still up.

I just want to release my pent-up emotions in a manner that is acceptable. Writing will probably suit such criteria.

It dawned to me that it will be just my hubby and baby who will be with me during the battle. 

I am jealous - jealous of those who have others to support them. 

I am groping in the dark . 

Will I get there? 

Financially, the figure is in the negative. 

As to friends, I feel like they are too far. I need them. I need real friends.

I wanna scream, "I just don't get it." I really wanna know why. I want to dispel it by just accepting the statement that "there are things that are not meant to be understood." How can I just ignore it when my self-esteem is badly hurt...

I wish I can just pass my paper and say, "it's over."

Will I?

Faith plus action. It’s the secret to staying on track toward your goals, no matter what.- Bob Proctor

It is not enough to just take action;believing is important. Conceiving is part of the process, the preparation. Likewise, believing is neither enough. It must be coupled with the "necessary" action. 

Octobar, here I come... (I was quite hesitant when I typed that. Gosh!)

While Others

Just got a message from God via an FB post of a good friend

Plan. Study. Decide. Prepare. Begin. Work. Listen to God's voice. Time is gold. Now, it's time to go back to SpecPro.

Message from Above

Because I slept late, I failed to join my baby and hubby in attending the early mass near our place. 

So I attended the mass alone this aftie. The message was striking... as if someone was telling me that it was for me.

"I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me." Perhaps, this was His response to what I shared in my last post. Fear, stay away! 

"Many are called but few are chosen." What struck me was that part where the King got angry because of the guest who was not wearing the proper garment.It is a message that tells me "being in law school means you're invited. However, you have to be properly dressed, ready for the occasion..." 

Am I really getting ready? Am I doing my part? Are my efforts enough? Am I entitled to enjoy the banquet? 

I am sleepy now, but I should not give in... miles to go before I sleep.